


Spidey Wants It: Wade's Patience

by Watermelonsmellinfellon



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: But with Tobey's Spiderman's abilities, Drabble of 500 words each, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Humor, I don't even ship stony, Imagine the Andrew Spiderman, M/M, My first Spideypool Fic So Be Nice, NO STONY IN THIS FIC, Peter is a grown man, Spideypool - Freeform, THE BOXES - Freeform, The Tobey Spiderman had cooler abilities, Warnings May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2018-06-07 22:47:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6828265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Watermelonsmellinfellon/pseuds/Watermelonsmellinfellon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wade knows that Spidey wants it. He's decided to be patient, because watching his baby boy fall to flustered pieces was hilarious!</p><p>A/N: Told in 500 word Drabbles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Know You Want It ;)

**Author's Note:**

> So I have been wanting to do this for a while. FINALLY! GO SPIDEYPOOL!!!!!

**A/N: Hello, people!**

**I don't own Marvel or the characters they created.**

**I have no beta.**

**ENJOY!**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR.[HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/). I FOLLOW BACK.**

* * *

 

**{~Obviously he thinks he’s so much better than everyone else.~}**

**[No he doesn’t! Look at him! He obviously thinks everybody is better than him!]**

_Will you two shut up! It’s obvious that he’s too busy checking out our ass to be doing anything else!_

True enough, his Spidey was trying very hard - not hard enough if you catch Wade’s drift! - not to let his head wander again. Wade found it to be incredibly adorable and decided to play the dunce for once, pretending to be caught in a mental discussion with the boxes and therefore too busy to comment on Spidey’s appreciation of his ass.

Speaking of asses and appreciating them, Spidey sure looked good in spandex, which was shocking as men usually didn’t. But the boy’s rump was firm and ripe for the picking. Or was it owning? Either way, Wade would gladly tap any piece of that if Spidey simply said the word.

Wade relied heavily on verbal consent before anything, because he wasn’t getting tangled up in any shit.

 **{~Not like the last time. That fucking bitch,~}** white groused.

**[Who knew that whores could be so picky?]**

Wade had to concur. Ten thousand dollars and the woman still fancied herself all high and mighty over him. He simply took his money elsewhere and got a better deal for it.

**{~So much better!~}**

**[Yep! Definitely!]**

_Yeah, a waaaaay better deal._

Back onto the subject of an arachnid sex god - mmmm, sex god - giving him the eye, Wade made sure that he leaned over just right. If he was becoming a sideshow attraction, then he would put on a damn show and make sure his baby boy enjoyed it!

Now he didn't have supernatural senses that could pick up an oncoming projectile from a mile away, but Wade knew a moan when he heard one! It was small, almost indecipherable, but it was a moan!

 _He_ was the cause of Spidey’s interest!

**{~Just ask him for a lap dance or something!~}**

**[He’ll probably enjoy it. Stop being stubborn!]**

**{~Own that tight ass!~}**

_Weren’t you clamoring about how you didn’t like him not five minutes ago?_ Wade demanded, remembering the very not nice things white was saying about his baby boy.

_Seriously kids, you don’t want to know!_

**[Yeah!]** chimed in yellow. **[You don’t even like him!]**

**{~But his ass is perfection. So go tap it!~}**

While Wade wanted nothing more than to do something about it, he wanted Spidey to make the first move. The concept seemed sexier in his opinion.

Wade was a master at waiting! Once, he waited for an order of fifty chimichangas for nearly half an hour! He totally deserved the award for Best Patience! He could totally give his baby boy some time to come to grips with his feelings! He was a giver after all.

**[Didn’t you shoot up the place when they were only able to make forty-nine chimichangas?]**

_Now is not the time for your snark!_

Besides, total rip off!

* * *

 

**A/N: First is done!**

**How was it? let me know!**

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**See ya! :D**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR.[HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/). I FOLLOW BACK.**


	2. Must Wanna Get Nasty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade gets a ride of a lifetime! XD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of people liked the first chapter! YAY! ENJOY!

**A/N: Hello, people!**

**I don't own Marvel or their characters.**

**I have no beta.**

**ENJOY!**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR.[HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/). I FOLLOW BACK!**

* * *

 

Not many people would ever get the chance to say that they got to ride Spiderman. Wade was luckily among the privileged. And no, he wasn’t carried, he actually got to _wrap his legs around that waist_ and hold on for dear life as the arachnid god swung around New York City.

Teaming up with Spidey had to be the best decision that Wade had ever made.

**{~His ass is right beneath our own.~}**

**[Holy shit! His ass is under us! We are literally riding his ass!]**

**{~Remain calm! Remain calm and don’t fuck this up!~}**

**[Yeah!]**

Wade’s attention was then drawn to the fact that Spidey’s glorious globes were right beneath him. He had to withhold the urge to reach down and grope.

No, he wasn’t going to make the first move. That was Spidey’s job.

**{~Not even a _little_ squeeze?~}**

_No._

**[Come on! We can see just how firm it really is!]**

_No! Control yourselves. We have to remain patient,_ Wade reminded them.

Spidey landed on a roof a moment later, cutting the joyride short, much to Wade’s displeasure. Still, he got a good look at that delectable ass when he was sliding off it.

“I’m uh… surprised that you didn’t try anything,” commented the arachnid/human hybrid.

Wade beamed. “I could always do something if you’re feeling neglected, Spidey dearest!” teased the merc.

“No! No, I was just shocked, that’s all,” Spidey hastened to explain.

Wade nodded though internally, he and the boxes knew very well what was going on.

**{~We had ample opportunity to get a good feel up and you didn’t take it! I am ashamed!~}**

**[Now we have to wait for him to grow a bigger pair and make the move! This could have made the wait shorter!]**

Wade ignored them, because Spidey was leading the way to whatever danger he’d spotted while swinging to and from the buildings.

Wade paused for a brief moment in order to savor the perfection. He was an ass man. Loved asses of all kinds. Spidey’s rump was framed quite nicely in his spandex.

“Deadpool, stop staring at my ass!”

“Only if you stop staring at mine, darling!” he retorted.

A choked noise came from his soon-to-be-lover and Spidey turned away while swearing vehemently, “I do _not_ stare at your ass!”

“Mhm. Whatever makes you sleep at night!”

**{~Look at how he fidgets!~}**

**{It’s so cute!]**

_I know!_ agreed Wade, enjoying how stiffly his baby boy was walking now.

“We have criminals to capture!”

Spidey then leaped off the building, flipping erotically - at least to Wade - and disappearing from view.

**{~Follow him! He’s sexy when he fights!~}**

**[Free show! Woo!]**

Wade unsheathed his katanas, not willing to be outdone by his baby boy. Not yet. Besides, it was like receiving a gift as he got to take note of all the positions Spidey could be twisted into. He was just so limber.

**[Purr!]**

**{~Indeed!~}**

_Mhm._

So. Much. Want.

Maybe Wade could convince him to go for chimichangas afterward.

* * *

 

**A/N: Another is done!**

**How was it? Let me know!**

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	3. I Feel So Lucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade and the boxes talk.

**A/N: Hello, people!**

**I don't own Marvel or the characters they created.**

**I have no beta.**

**ENJOY!**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR.[HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/). I FOLLOW BACK.**

* * *

Wade was sitting on the edge of a building. Beside him rested a shit ton of chimichangas. Like, thirty or so. He’d lost count.

**{~That’s because you just shoved them in your mouth like a pig!~}**

**[Not that we blame you because damn those are delicious!]**

**{~True. Very true.~}**

Wade nodded his agreement. Nothing in life would beat chimichangas.

**[I don’t know. I think Spidey’s rump could totally top chimichangas.]**

**{~Or, you know, _we_ could totally top that, if you know what I’m saying!~}**

**[I know what you’re saying and I totally agree!]**

_Me too,_ Wade sighed.

Seriously, the amount of fanfic just dedicated to Spidey’s ass was fantastic. Now if only some people - _Hello, authoress, I am talking to you!_ \- would take a hint and write about Wade delighting in that ass, then life would be good.

**{~Speaking of Spidey’s ass, we need a plan.~}**

**[A plan to get our hands on it. Or to get his hands on _our_ ass. Either will work just fine!]**

**{~Maybe we can trying wearing the lolita dress. Spidey doesn’t judge our preferences.~}**

**[Because he’s not a douche, unlike some people.]**

**{~I know what you mean and that fucker was definitely asking for an ass whooping!~}**

_Who?_

White sighed, obviously annoyed. **{~Honestly, how the fuck do you get anything done without us?~}**

**[The killer, remember? The purple guy who went on to murder those five kinds in the pizzeria.]**

_Okay, FNAF doesn’t even exist in this universe. And what does the purple guy have to do with my baby doll, lolita dresses?_

**[Hey look, Spidey!]**

Wade’s head swung around to face the adorable web slinger who had just landed on the rooftop beside him.

“Spidey! Baby! Come to have dinner with dear Wade?”

His fellow spandex wearer took a seat beside him and shrugged. “It’s just really boring tonight. There is seriously nothing to do.”

**{~He'd do us just fine if he grew a damn backbone already!~}**

**[Mmmmm. 'Do us' indeed.]**

“No perps for you to chase around?”

“Nope.”

“No crooks for you to break.”

“None.”

“No gang wars to end?”

“Nada.”

“No sexy, anti-heros with gropeable asses for you to grope?”

“No. Wait! _What_?!”

Wade snorted and shoved another chimichanga into his mouth. His darling Spidey was just too cute for words sometimes.

**{~No, not cute! Cute means innocent and not sexy and if he’s innocent, then it’ll make us feel like a pedophile!~}**

**[Pedo-Bear alert! Pedo-Bear alert!]**

_But he **is** adorable!_ Wade insisted. _And he’s of age, so it isn’t pedophilia._

“Wade? Are you alright?”

“More than JLo, baby boy!”

“Huh?”

The merc tossed a chimichanga toward Spidey. “Take a load off. Literally, if you decide to do that in front of us, we’d be eternally grateful.”

**[Do it!]**

**{~If only.~}**

Spidey shook his head, much to Wade’s displeasure.

“You are crazy.”

“Crazy in love, baby boy!”

**[Got me lookin’ so crazy right now!]**

**{~Lookin’ so crazy, you’re love’s got me lookin’, got me lookin’ so crazy in love!~}**

Crazy indeed.

* * *

 

**A/N: First is done!**

**How was it? let me know!**

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	4. The Way You Grab Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is grabbing and Wade DOES NOT like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This came to mind a few minutes ago and I wrote it because I wanted to make Wade suffer.
> 
> -Writing Wade and the boxes is always a trip! XD

**A/N: Hello, people!**

**I don't own Marvel or their characters.**

**I have no beta.**

**ENJOY!**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR.[HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/).**

* * *

**[When we suggested getting his hands on our ass, we didn't exactly mean it like this.]**

**{~True. I was hoping for more groping if you know what I mean~}**

Wade grunted, mentally agreeing but not willing to have this conversation aloud when in this position. Not when tempers were high. Speaking when in the throes of heavy emotion tended to get him into trouble. This was not a place for more troubles than what he was already suffering through.

**[A position that is nowhere near as fun as I thought it would be.]**

**{~Yeah, the sexiness was taken by the lack of space.~}**

**[Movies did us wrong. We've been lead astray.]**

_Totally. Not that I ever really imagined being in this position, but all of my expectations have been rudely dry fucked into the dirt._

And honestly, no one could blame them for being put out over this. The movies always made the hiding-in-the-closet-so-we-don't-get-caught-snooping schtick out to be this great, sexy moment for closeness. An adventure in furthering the relationship of the main pairing.

You know, the obligatory onset for citrusy action just to titillate you. To pander to the audience to an extent. Get your hopes up.

This was  _not_  that kind of moment. So  _far beyond_  that kind of moment, it was depressing.

**{~And fuck all, we are pissed over it.~}**

**[Ditto!]**

White had a point. All three were pissed. Let down. Completely fucked up and not in the good way. More like in the, some-ass-drew-Captain-America-as-a-Nazi-and-thought-it-was-cool kind of way.

He'd been lightly followi-  **[Stalking! Call it as it is!]**  -  _following_  Spidey for the better part of a hour, and found him doing a B&E on Oscorp. Obviously, Wade was never one to be left out of a good party and decided to join him.

The more the merrier and all that schnitzel.

It ended up with him getting a fist in the gut as punishment, and then Spidey yanking him into a closet so they could hide from some uppity scientists with posh English accents.

_Like, who - I'm side-eying you, authoress - decided this was okay?_

**{~It had been the perfect set up. Romantic and shit.~}**

Wade was bigger than Spidey dearest was. While three inches of height wasn't so big of a deal, it was the fact that he was more muscular and Spidey was more lanky. So Wade took up more space, leaving them cramped in a dark closet, with Spidey's hands on his ass that was flattened against the wall and Wade's arms bent at an odd angle in an attempt to create space that didn't exist.

They couldn't move.

**[Such a let down.]**

**{~This had potential for sexy times! NO SEXY TIMES ARE BEING HAD!~}**

Neither Spidey nor Wade were amused.

The authoress better make it up to them. Tenfold. With Spidey ass.

* * *

**A/N: Another is done!**

**How was it? Let me know!**

**Check out my other fics!**

**See ya!**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR.[HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/).**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out my other fics! ^-^


	5. 'Cause Now You're Winning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The authoress is delivering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Fourth wall breaking is actually fun!
> 
> -Hooray for Wade and the boxes!

**A/N: Hello, people!**

**I don't own Marvel or their characters.**

**I have no beta.**

**ENJOY!**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR.[HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/).**

* * *

When his favorite spider dropped down beside him, Wade had to pause in his mental argument to make sure he wasn't dressed up as Little Miss Muffet. He in fact, was  _not_  doing cosplay that day, so the sudden appearance of his favorite partner was shocking.

Usually Wade was the one finding  _him_.

"Hey," Spidey said as he sat down. Slung over his arm was a large paper bag that smelled fucking delicious. "I brought tacos from that little place on Thirteenth."

**{~Bu-bump!~}**

**[Pitter patter goes my heart!]**

_Our heart,_  Wade corrected.

Spidey had gone out and actually bought tacos? For them? To share?

"I saved the lady who owns the joint and she told me to come by whenever and in return for free food, I would spin her something from my webbing. She's been giving them out to the kids who come in, so it's a win-win."

Spidey got himself free food by being all heroic. Wade liked free things. He might be considerably well off due to past jobs he'd taken, but that didn't mean spending money was always fun.

"You are a beautiful and majestic being, Spidey!" he announced as he reached into the bag and grabbed a handful of wrapped tacos. The mask was pushed up.

**{~#Blessed~}**

**[They smell so great! Spidey has proven why he's our fave.]**

Spiderman shrugged. "I figured it'd be good payback after the whole closet thing."

Wade's head tilted to the side.  _Authoress, we said we wanted Spidey ass. This is great but you better deliver._

**{~Well his ass is sitting very _close_  to ours.~}**

**[It doesn't really count though. I had wanted ass in the sense of a good groping.]**

**{~I wanted him to sit on us.~}**

_That would be a dream come true. But he still hasn't taken that step yet, boys._

All three sighed in frustration.

Still, at least they got to sit on the roof and enjoy Spidey's company. And compared to when they'd first met, with Wade launching himself at the web-slinger and getting kicked off a building, this was much better.

Who knew they'd be chilling and eating Mexican food with Spidey a year later? Wade had managed to wear the other down! Now he just had to be patient.

**[The pay off better be good.]**

_Yeah._

"Hey, Wade, your name has the alliteration thing going, right?" Spidey asked suddenly, making him pause.

_He said our name._

**{~!HOLY SHIT!~}**

**[He said it!]**

Wade cleared his throat. "Yeah. Why, baby boy?"

"I just thought it was funny considering my name does to."

He was gaping.

The hero stood then and dusted off his glorious ass. "Wade Wilson and Peter Parker constantly teaming up. It's ironic in a sense."

More unattractive gaping.

Spidey -  **[PETER!]**  - waved twice. "Keep the tacos. You're paying for the next date though."

**{~DATE!~}**

**[DATE!]**

_He said 'date'!_

They were screeching with excitement!

The authoress delivered something  _waaaaaay_  better.

* * *

**A/N: Another is done!**

**How was it? Let me know!**

**Check out my other fics!**

**See ya!**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR.[HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/).**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out my other fics! ^-^


	6. No More Pretending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade realizes who Peter is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff.

**A/N: Hello, people!**

**I don't own Marvel or their characters.**

**I have no beta.**

**ENJOY!**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR.[HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/).**

* * *

Wade had been on cloud nine ever since Spiderman - Peter Parker - had called him by name for the first time, then revealed his own name, and then told him he was paying for their next date which meant he considered that evening a date.

He'd been on a date with Spiderman and how many people could say the same?

**{~Anyone think this is finally him getting over his embarrassment?~}**

**[YES! I am so excited!]**

_He opened up to us just a bit,_  Wade thought with a happy sigh.

**{~And with a cute name too.~}**

**[It sounded familiar though.]**

_True._

Wade couldn't place it, but he would swear the name Peter Parker rang bells. Many, many bells.

Anyway, Wade had stopped by a small restaurant he'd never been to before, because he remembered Peter said once that he liked their food. So while Wade was a Mexican fan, Peter was a Thai fan. Both had great spices, so he really couldn't complain.

**[I hope he likes it. We usually don't bother eating anything else.]**

They were hardcore Mexican lovers, but for Spidey's sake, they could take a small break for once. Besides, maybe it would get them in good with the web-slinger!

**[More dates!]**

**{~Maybe a kiss?~}**

_Authoress, you have been put on the spot, don't disappoint._

* * *

Half an hour later, Wade dropped down beside his favorite spider, brandishing the bag full of Thai food in the other's face. "Spidey, we come bearing your favorite food hopefully!"

Peter nodded when he accepted the bag. "I can't believe you remembered. It was just an offhand comment months ago. Thanks, Wade."

**[He called us by name again!]**

**{~Kiss him!~}**

"So what's the black bag of yours for, baby boy?" Wade asked as he spotted an oddly shaped bag with the word CANON on it in red lettering.

"That's my camera. I had to collect more photos for the evening because Jonah Jameson has been demanding more Spiderman pictures lately."

It clicked then and he was so disappointed in himself for not realizing. Peter Parker took those delicious photos of Spiderman's rump. Peter Parker, the only person who could get clear photos of Spiderman, was actually Spiderman.

Wade and the boxes erupted into laughter.

**{~He gets paid to take selfies!~}**

**[I'm dying!]**

"And JJ hates Spiderman, if I recall," Wade added, feeling winded and loving it. "If only he knew that he's been funding Spidey's life."

Peter pushed his mask up a bit, revealing a smirk. "It's the greatest revenge considering what they have to write about me at the Bugle."

Wade found him infinitely more attractive then.

**[And we still haven't seen his whole face yet.]**

**{~Who fucking cares? Biggest prank ever! He's a god.~}**

_Honestly, I am so turned on right now._

**{~You're turned on by _everything_ he does.~}**

True. He wouldn't deny it. He was dangerously proud of it even.

* * *

**A/N: Another is done!**

**How was it? Let me know!**

**Check out my other fics!**

**See ya!**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR.[HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/).**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out my other Spideypool fic.
> 
> Part of the 2017 Christmas Bundle.


	7. Maybe I'm Out of My Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade struggles to control himself when faced with certain unpleasant situations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of angst, ad then some fluff.

**A/N: Hello, people!**

**I don't own Marvel or their characters.**

**I have no beta.**

**ENJOY!**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR.[HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/).**

* * *

"You're lucky that Spidey doesn't like the unaliving, otherwise you'd be kissing Hitler in hell."

Wade had few things that went against even  _his_  morals. Murder was fine. Blowing things up was fine. Hurting or killing kids was  _not_  fine. Sexual harassment and assault were  _not_  fine. Abuse was  _NOT_  fine.

**[Yeah! We really like kids. We have a kid!]**

**{~Not in this universe!~}**

**[But we have one in another universe so it only makes sense!]**

Fact was, Wade got almost uncontrollably angry whenever he was given jobs that had to do with rapists or child abusers. While he was no longer allowed to unalive anyone because Spidey had more morals and he respected the web-slinger's rules in his own city, Wade could still do mass damage. And it took so much effort not to crush the skull of the piece of shit who just tried assault a very young teen girl in a back alley of some pizzeria.

Said girl who was cowering on the ground and also didn't need to see intense violence after the trauma of being accosted.

**{~I think Peter would be proud of our self-control.~}**

**[Me too! He might even reward us!]**

Wade wasn't doing it for a reward though. He just didn't like scum like the man currently pinned to the ground by his boot.

"Wade?"

**[SPIDEY! :3 :3 :3]**

**{~Our gorgeous spider has come swinging in!~}**

**[And conveniently right on time too!]**

**{~Yeah, the authoress sure knows how to create drama.~}**

"Hey, baby boy! Can you do me a favor and get this lovely young lady out of here? She's had a rough night."

"Wade?"

"I'll meet you on our rooftop later. And no, I'm not going to kill him, I promise."

_No matter how much I want to!_

Holding himself back should be a talent, because he'd gotten a lot better at it over the course of the last year. It was probably Peter's doing.

After a moment of indecision, Spiderman carefully approached the shaking teen and helped her up. "I'll take you home."

* * *

Wade left the police a bleeding bundle that had two broken hands. In certain countries, such actions would have gotten them chopped off and Wade had considered it. But instead, he just decided the heavily mutilate them as punishment for thinking he could put his hands anywhere without punishment.

When he finally joined up with his favorite hero, he found a large bag of Mexican food awaiting him. And Spidey was seated on the edge of the roof as always, mask pushed up a bit so he could eat his burrito.

"You did a very good thing tonight, Wade," the hero said as Wade plopped down beside him and reached for some food.

He shrugged, unwrapping the soft taco carefully. "Meh, he was trash and even  _I_  have morals no matter how skewed they are."

**{~Ain't that the fucking truth!~}**

**[He was gross anyway.]**

"I'm very proud of you."

**{~SEE!~}**

Usually the praise would make him elated, and he  _was_  happy to an extent, he was just really sensitive when it came to sexual abuse. And he was still pissed.

Spidey's head tilted just a bit, before he leaned over and pressed his lips to Wade's cheek. Wade's heavily blemished cheek. The boxes were going mad.

"You're very sweet, Wade."

**[He thinks we are sweet!]**

**{~Fuck that! He kissed our cheek willingly!~}**

**[Hip lips are as smooth as we imagined.]**

**{~I think DP has croaked from shock.~}**

* * *

**A/N: Another is done!**

**How was it? Let me know!**

**Check out my other fics!**

**See ya!**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR.[HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/).**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out my other SPideypool fic.
> 
> Part of the 2017 Christmas Bundle.


	8. Just Let Me Liberate You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade and the boxes have a deep chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL IS GREAT! XD

**A/N: Hello, people!**

**I don't own Marvel or their characters.**

**I have no beta.**

**ENJOY!**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR.[HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/).**

* * *

**[So we've gotten dates and a kiss.]**

**{~ _Willing_  dates and a kiss. I feel adding that one detail makes it more important.~}**

**[Yeah.]**

_I'm still surprised, which is weird because he's been checking out our ass for months now. I should have expected this._

**{~Natural progression of the relationship and crap.~}**

**[With the way we look, makes sense you'd not get how to handle his interest when it traveled beneath the spandex.]**

**{~Look at us getting all psychological.~}**

**[I blame the authoress!]**

_Yeah, make it stop!_

But for realsies, Wade really hadn't thought Peter would take anything to the next level. He'd hoped and hoped, but he just kind of expected his flirting to go nowhere. But now he knew Spiderman's real name, and one of his occupations, and what part of his face looked like, and now what his mouth felt like. And things were escalating slowly but surely.

_He kissed our cheek! And smiled right after!_

**{~Maybe we'll get a marriage proposal next!~}**

**[The sex comes next actually.]**

**{~Meaning _we_  come next if you know what I mean!~}**

Sex. With Spiderman. Peter Parker. Meaning some parts of their suits had to be removed to get everything to work.

And Wade was properly hesitant now that he thought about it. Maybe Spidey was just being nice. Maybe he was being a good sport. The guy rarely cursed and was practically a marshmallow. Even showed respect to his enemies for some reason.

Maybe it was pity.

**[He doesn't treat us like a pity party even though he knows our story!]**

**{~I might have agreed with your emotional dribbling months ago, but really, he's been decent. Better than anyone else save for Barton and Banner.~}**

**[Remember when Spidey kicked us off the roof?]**

**{~Which time?~}**

**[True.]**

He felt a bit bad about doubting the kid -  **[He's a grown ass man!]**  - but Wade doubted everyone. And really, he was much younger than Wade, so he was still a kid in a way. A tall kid who could knock teeth out with a well-placed kick, but a kid.

**{~We are not pedos, dammit!~}**

_Never said we were. It's just a thing._

The boxes proceeded to verbally tear him a new asshole for even second-guessing Peter. Also, White actually made some good points in Peter's favor. To think only three months ago, White was calling Spidey an asshole. How time could change people.

**{~I am a voice in your head, I am not a people.~}**

**[I like to think of myself as a person, thank you very much! I have opinions and feelings.]**

And now they were arguing. Great.

**[Hey! Blame the authoress. She's the one making all of this happen.]**

**{~She is the source of all this angst.~}**

**[Gut her.]**

_Nah, she's got bad Depression and we don't go after people without real reasons. Besides, the tags say 'Eventual Smut'. It's gonna happen._

**{[~Hmph.]}**

* * *

**A/N: Another is done!**

**How was it? Let me know!**

**Check out my other fics!**

**See ya!**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR.[HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/).**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out my other Spideypool fic.
> 
> Part of the 2017 Christmas Bundle.


	9. Baby, It's In Your Nature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And some things are revealed, much to the pleasure of Wade and the boxes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Humor and internal discussions.

**A/N: Hello, people!**

**I don't own Marvel or their characters.**

**I have no beta.**

**ENJOY!**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR.[HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/).**

* * *

"Ew!" Peter practically wailed, shaking his hands rapidly in an attempt to dislodge some white, gooey gunk that was spat at him from a green-skinned alien.  _And no, it's not what you all think it is, perverts!_

**{~If it was, we'd slice and dice and make it go boom!~}**

**[I still want to do that though.]**

**{~Too bad the Iron Dildo needs it 'for science' or some shit.~}**

Wade had to concur with their grumbling. He too would love to wreck the asshat just for offending his precious Spidey, but Stark needed it for 'samples' and 'experimentation'. And then Patches needed it for government crap.

Peter used his hip to bump Wade. "I know this is gross, but can you help me get this off?"

Wade's eyes trailed to the goo and he winced, knowing full well his mask hid the expression. He didn't want to touch the goo either.

**[We'd gladly touch Spidey any day, but this is just wrong.]**

**{~True~}**

_Still, he asked so nicely. We would be the world's biggest douchenozzle if we do not help our love interest in his time of need._

**{~The authoress better be going somewhere good with this!~}**

**[Major plot relevance or else!]**

"Sure," he agreed half-reluctantly.

Peter's shoulders sagged in relief. "Thanks. To the bathroom!"

_Huh?_

**[{~Huh?~}]**

Spidey lead them to the nearest bathroom that was inside a room which he knew the way to shockingly. And as expected of Stark, it was luxurious and over the top and there were like ten different shower heads alone, plus a big ass seat in the stall as well. Frosted glass even.

"I was given the room some time ago in case I can't make it home," Spidey said.

**[UMMMMMMM-]**

**{~HOLY SHIT! WE ARE IN SPIDEY'S PERSONAL SPACE!~}**

**[-MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM?!]**

"I need help getting my mask off and then the suit since I don't want to get this shit on everything. Spandex is hard enough to clean as it is."

Wade's brain short-circuited.

**{~Removing the mask!~}**

**[The suit!]**

**{~We're gonna see his face!~}**

**[We'll see the bod!]**

**{~He said a bad word! He popped his swearing cherry!~}**

Once everything caught up in Wade's brain, he sent up a thanks to the goddess of this fanfic, Watermelonsmellinfellon.  _I'm sorry we doubted you! You glorious, godly giver, you!_

And the moment came, where Wade carefully reached up to grab the material of Peter's mask, and slowly pushed it up, thanking the authoress for the most convenient placement of an alien that sicked up on Peter and made this possible.

And then they were gaping.

Fluffy brown hair.

**[Is that a bouffant?]**

Eyes like milk chocolate from Godiva.

**{~His hair is magic. It looks perfect despite being under the mask for so long!~}**

He had a soft cupid's bow.

**[He looks like Andrew Garfield.]**

**{~Meaning, he's smokin'!~}**

Wade was waxing poetically an-

**{~HE'S SMILING AT US!~}**

**[#DEAD]**

_I have turned into a poet at the behest of the authoress, and I don't mind the OOCness a single bit._

And that was when Peter turned around, presenting his back. "It stretches pretty far, so just pull on the fabric and I should be able to slip out of the suit."

Wade did so, gaping when a pale shoulder was revealed, and then another as Peter wiggled and freed his torso.

"Thanks!" he grunted.

Yes, Spidey had the whole lithe thing going on. Delicious.

"This is nasty!" the brunet grunted, pulling his arms out and letting the wet material hang at his slim hips. So... the suit was almost a one piece save for the mask. Wade looked down at Peter's feet. Built in shoes then?

**[He's hot.]**

**{~Yum.~}**

"Wade, are you okay?"

"Baby boy, you are adorable!" Wade crooned, bringing his hands up to his cheeks and doing a little bounce in place.

On cue, a pleased flush worked its way up those lovely cheeks and Peter smiled. "Wait 'til you see me with my glasses."

**[Is he a nerd? A cute little nerd?]**

**{~OMG!~}**

Wade reached out, taking old of those slim hands, and taking a second to note how they'd be good for piano playing.

**{~Or another kind of playing, if you know what I'm saying.~}**

_Don't get me started!_

"Petey, I'd love to see  _anything_  from you," he professed, rubbing his thumbs along the underside of the younger man's wrists.

And that was when it happened.

A very loud moan erupted from Peter's throat and his entire body shivered as he tore his arms away, one hand wrapping around his wrist as he flushed in obvious mortification.

"U-um, I-I-I-. M-my wrists- I have very sensitive, um, web- uh- holes. Yeah. That," he stammered, refusing to meet Wade's masked gaze.

**{~Erogenous zone!~}**

**[So _that's_  what the authoress was getting at!]**

_THANK YOU SO MUCH, AUTHORESS!_

* * *

**A/N: Another is done!**

**How was it? Let me know!**

**Check out my other fics!**

**See ya!**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR.[HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/).**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out my other fics!


	10. You're Far From Plastic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade gets them a shared gift!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -A link to the inspiration is at the end of the chapter!

**A/N: Hello, people!**

**I don't own Marvel or their characters.**

**I have no beta.**

**ENJOY!**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR.[HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/).**

* * *

Wade was super excited because he'd placed an order for these lovely little beauties nearly a month ago and it had finally come in! And the readers all may be wondering what the order was, but Wade didn't feel like divulging that yet and the authoress better fucking wait for when he was ready!

So anyway, since his order had finally come in - after literally eight dollars in shipping and then the twenty-four for the basic cost - he had to go and give Spidey his half of the gift!

**[Can we please tell people already?]**

**{~Don't! Make them wait for it!~}**

**[But I want to tell them nooooooow!]**

**{~Shut up! It's a surprise and I want them knowing when Spidey knows so deal with it! Authoress you better keep fucking quiet!~}**

**[Hmph!]**

Wade had this secret talent. One that nobody else had actually. He could find Spiderman anytime, anywhere if he really wanted to. Meaning it didn't take long for him to find the arachnid god as he was resting atop a building in Queens.

"Baby boy!"

Obviously the hero had felt him coming thanks to that Spidey Sense thing, so he didn't jump when Wade landed next to him and practically screamed into his ear in greeting. He was used to it by now. 

"Sup?" the spandex clad man asked, not bothering to get up.

And that was totally fine because Wade parked it right beside him, a big grin on his face that was visible even through the mask. "I got you something! Well actually I got _me_ something first! But it was cheaper if I got them in a set and I got the set mostly for feels since it made me think of our ship name and they came together even though _we_ have yet to do that but I still hold out hope, trust me! And anyway this one is for you and I really hope you like it because they are adorbs and I'm wearing the mini you already!"

Peter had patiently sat through Wade's jabbering, only waiting until he shut up to accept the little baggy holding the Deadpool enamel pin Wade had bought for him to wear. On Wade's chest was the Spiderman pin. Both pins showed Deadpool and Spiderman climbing but looking back at something, and their butts were super defined and bubbly!

**[I love them so much! <3 <3 <3]**

**{~I personally think his ass should be bigger because it's more bubbly even if we are generally bigger than him.~}**

**[Who cares? They are cute!]**

"Thanks, Wade."

Spidey ran a gloved finger over the mini Deadpool pin's head as he weighed the slightly heavy material in his hand. "It somehow captures your personality so well even without words. It's cute."

**{~EEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRTTTTTTTT!~}**

**[Did he just say we're cute? HEART EYES, MOTHERFUCKER!]**

Wade wiggled a bit, feeling light-headed in Peter's presence while asking basking in the other's appreciation of him.

"This deserves something in return, don't you think, Wade?" His voice was teasing.

All the voices in Wades head chorused their agreement.

And that was when Peter leaned in a pecked Wade's cheek, even though it was through their masks. And he lingered for several seconds!

_I am dead._

**[#Deceased.]**

**{~If only it was darker so he could have taken his mask off!~}**

* * *

**A/N: Another is done!**

Inspired by **[[THESE](http://pelcron.tictail.com/product/tiny-spider-mandeadpool-enamel-pins-preorder)]**. They are adorable! ^-^

**How was it? Let me know!**

**Check out my other fics!**

**See ya!**

**CHECK ME OUT ON TUMBLR.[HELLY-WATERMELONSMELLINFELLON](http://helly-watermelonsmellinfellon.tumblr.com/).**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -CHECK OUT MY MANY OTHER FICS! ^-^
> 
> -AREN'T THE PINS CUTE?!

**Author's Note:**

> How was it?


End file.
